"I first highlighted the issue of fatherlessness as a columnist for the Big Eye Newspaper 2007 - 2010. A survey was conducted and the results contributed to further pieces to do with the role of a father. You can find the thoughts of one father, John Rose, on page 196 of Embracing Forgiveness. The in-depth thoughts of a son, 'The Role of A Father From A Counsellor's Perspective' can also be found on page 348. A father plays a very important role in the life of a child. I encourage all fathers to be actively and effectively involved in the lives of their children."

My writing is used to encourage, motivate and inspire others. This article is therefore my way of honouring my father in his absence and encouraging other fathers to be effective leaders in their parenting. In sharing my heart, I pray that other fathers and fathers-to-be will get an idea of the pain that absent fathers bring to the heart of a child and avoid making the same mistake with their children. I believe that at this stage of my life, on the journey through healing from parental neglect, it is one of the best ways in which I can honour my father whether on Father's Day or not.

Agape love never fails but human beings are imperfect and will fail. That is why we constantly need to encourage each other. So let us cover each other with love (see Ephesians 5:21).

RECLAIM YOUR LEADERSHIP STATUS AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE

To the father who is struggling to find a balanced work/home life, and to the father who is currently absent from home, I encourage you to watch the movie/documentary recommended earlier (shawnmovie dot com). It is never too late to start a new tradition. I pray that through my sharing, fathers will recognise that this is a real problem and realise that it contributes to the problems we face in society.

You have all that you need to do what is required of you as a father. Seek the help you need and be committed to the process. Set your heart toward your children and do for them what they cannot do for themselves. It is painful for a child to lose their father through natural death and though that child will have the opportunity to bury his or her father, they’ll need you as a step-father (if their mother re-marries) to understand their pain while investing in their development. It can equally be as painful if not more painful for a child whose father is absent from the home because their grief has no closure and they are constantly grieving the loss of their father. This is also the case when a child has his/her father at home but there is no emotional connection. This is why I write to educate fathers on such matters and encourage them to get involved in the lives of their children.

It will be worth it when they grow up to call you blessed. But this will only happen if you recognise the need to invest in them now.

It will be a blessing to see your children become a blessing to the next generation because you thought they were worth it and invested in them while they were young. It will bless your heart to witness your children listening to the words of wisdom you have to pass onto them. It will be a blessing to watch them pass on such wisdom to their children. It will be a blessing to watch them pass onto their families, traditions you created with them. Don’t let the government take that God-given right away from you. Your children do not belong in the care system or juvenile detention. Neither do they belong in a feminist environment. Take back your rightful place in the home.

HONOUR THY FATHER

PART 6

LADIES: STAND BY YOUR MAN—IT WILL HELP HIM OVERCOME

I call out to the women in our homes to help our men become better fathers. They already have greatness in them. We were all created in God's image. We are in their lives to help them recognise the power within them and see our children and our homes flourish (see Ephesians 5:22).


‘Father’s Day,’ in each year comes to help us reflect and find reason to honour the men in our lives (namely our fathers and our children's fathers but it doesn't stop there). We are also training up boys to become men and they won't have a good platform from which to leap, if their mothers aren't supporting their fathers. So each time Father's Day approaches, instead of thinking of ways in which you can make that absent father look bad, make it a point of duty to look at your child’s father through love’s eye. Once you make a decision to do that, you’ll find a reason to honour him through your behaviour which will in turn teach your child respect for his/her father and a reason to honour him (eventually) if he is absent.

‘Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life…She is clothed with strength and dignity…When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. She carefully watches what goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.’

Be a servant. Serve the children. They will grow up and call you blessed. Serve your husband. You made a vow to him before God. In your service to him you honour him. Sooner or later he just may take up his responsibility and start caring for his young children and/or seek forgiveness and reconciliation from his grown children. Then he’ll praise you because indeed you surpass them all, Stand by your man and let the children and the world see that you love him.

I am not able to speak into my father’s life today, neither can I help him turn around his life but I can reach out to other men (including his sons and grandsons) encouraging them not to make the same mistake he did. Therefore, if a fatherless child can have compassion for an absent father, then it is possible for an absent father to lay down the guilt and shame, come to a place of repentance and seek to restore that father-child relationship.  It is possible. There may be an element of fear (that is normal) but the love you have for your children will overcome the fear. My prayer for you is that God will remove the barrier of fear and prepare you for the journey.

Copyright © 2016, Janice S Ramkissoon.

We can change the world one soul at a time by starting with the man in the mirror. I am the child who had no reason to celebrate Father’s Day but today I have the privilege of contributing to the celebrations because I chose to start with the ‘man in the mirror’ and saw the bigger picture. From there I had to engage in a clearing up process so that my heart would be fertile ground to accept the spoken words of my father, “I love you.” The process was painful but it was worth it to finally reach a place where I could stop resenting my father for not being in my life and start to think about him as a human being in need of God’s saving grace.

MEN: STAND STRONG—YOU CAN DO IT!

[We can change the world one soul at a time by starting with the man in the mirror.

If Father’s Day 2016 seemed more of a depressing time for you, then please use this article as an encouragement to do all that you can to be a man who embraces fatherhood in the remaining part of this year so that 2017 and beyond will find you celebrating in a joyous way. May June 2017 be a blessed ‘Father’s Day’ for you all!

If you agree that fatherhood is a challenging yet rewarding role then you are on the path to success. Keep up the good work! Your contribution to society is very much appreciated. May I encourage you to find a young father who could benefit from having a mentor and encourage him on the path to success. You might be an Uncle who could mentor your Nephew. You may be a Grandfather who could mentor a Grandson. There may be a mentoring programme in your community where you could volunteer your services. You may be part of a church and could either start up a men’s fellowship in which you could encourage young fathers to be effective in their leadership roles as fathers and as husbands.  

Our children need strong leaders in their lives.

[My writing is used to encourage, motivate and inspire others.]

You can make a difference in the lives of your children. Start by looking from a different perspective. See through the lens of love. It is not an easy task not to think selfishly but with practise, step by step you can make that difference. We live in a world where we are told it’s all about ‘me, myself and I’ so we go into marriage with a ‘singles’ mentality and we start a family with a selfish mind set. That is the natural way to do it. However, when we think beyond ourselves and see through the eyes of love, we can see the bigger picture and embrace the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of the people whom God has placed in our care.

Writing To Honour My Father

[It will be a blessing to see your children become a blessing to the next generation...