Couples in Ministry 3

Like that old building, relationships can sometimes (unintentionally) suffer neglect of various forms, even while serving.  The cares of this world can crowd out important things like couple and family time.  Many things also get pushed aside for a later date when involved in ministry and these can sometimes mount up and represents overgrown bushes in our lives.  We can’t see clearly and then things and individuals get neglected in the process.  However, when the foundation is strong, the relationship will still stand (just like that old building), even with the battering that it endures from the storms of life. 

Remember:   Disagreements may come as you continue your journey, but always make the choice to love—it’s an act of your will.  Always remember the advice from Fireproof[1]: “You never leave your partner, especially in a fire.” When the way seems dark and you cannot see your way clear, that is when you stick together and love your partner, even when you do not think they deserve it.  Ask God for the wisdom to make wise choices.  When you face difficulties, remember that God will not give you more than you can bear and that He promises never to leave you nor forsake you[2]. 

When serving others, neglect is inevitable to a certain degree, in our own life but it should not be the norm.  When it gets that way, it is time to stop and self-assess; being reminded that our first commitment, as Christian leaders, is to love and honour God in all that we do.  Next in line, we are to love our neighbour as ourselves, according to Matthew 22:37-39.  To honour God’s Word in this Scripture means that we will each look out for the needs of our partners, sometimes making sacrifices, in order to help the other to operate in their calling. 

As couples in ministry, the enemy will regularly attempt to use those who are closest to our hearts to try and hinder us from fully walking in God's will.  Remind yourselves that it is the enemy within the individual and not the individual themselves.  Therefore:

1. Pray regularly for and with your partner.  “The family that prays together stays together”(anon.)  We can testify to that.

2. Seek God in all situations—He said ask, seek and Knock (Matthew 7:7-8). If you ask, you will receive (but know that the answer isn’t always going to be what you expected).  Be open to his leading, with a receptive heart.  What seems like a disappointing answer/situation today, may be the opening to greater things in your life later. When you ask, He will speak to you through: 
   1. His Word, so search the Scriptures for answers. 
   2. He will answer through a testimony, an exhortation or a sermon, so don’t neglect the coming together with the saints.
   3. He may send a stranger to bring the answer to you, so always remember to entertain strangers, for in so doing you may be entertaining angels.

When you knock, the door may not open straight away, it may be a window in the first instance.  Accessing that opportunity will lead you to the right door that God Himself will open. By using your ounce of faith to cross that doorway it will line you up with your blessing—so step out on your faith.  When you get there, it may seem obvious, the route you should have taken.  But there are lessons that we learn on the journey.  These lessons help us to recognise our blessing and treat it as the gift that it is.  Those lessons shape us into the vessels God designed for His purpose—so the Potters House experience is important. Although it is painful, we must go through the process. That is how we recognise who we are in Christ.  These lessons help to carve out the diamond in us and they become tools for our ministry.  So it may seem to be taking a long while to get where you know God wants you to be but excercise patience so you won't miss the point of the journey. 

3. Use the power that God has given you in, Matthew 18:18 to bind and to loose (keeping you in His will).  Don’t fight fire with fire, you’ll only regret it later.  Allow the fruit of the Spirit to be ignited in you—apply self-control in heated situations and watch God work it all out for you.  When you’ve done all that you can do and find that there are no changes your prayer needs to be: “Lord, do for me, what I can’t do for myself.” He created you as well as your partner and if there are areas in your life affecting your marriage that you can’t see, He will show it to you.  If there are areas needing attention in your partner’s life which is affecting you remember to go to the manufacturer—He knows all about this individual and what is needed to remedy the situation.  Your partner was created in God’s image—He knows what area of his/her life needs a touch from Him.  So place your partner in God’s hands, asking Him to do what you cannot do, then exercise patience as God brings them in line with His will.  Failing to present a case like this to God, will find you facing one battle after another; hitting against a brick wall until your partner emotionally disconnects from you.

It doesn’t mean that because your partner did something to hurt your feelings, they no longer love you.  Sometimes, through unintentional neglect, various evil spirits are released.  For example: the spirit of jealousy can creep in when our time is taken away from our partners.  Complacency can also cause the one on the receiving end to feel unimportant in their partners life, another form of neglect—because he/she is understanding and supports you in ministry, it should not be taken for granted.  Sometimes we have to say no, to outside projects and spend some quality time with our partners.  Let them know that they are appreciated—they need the reassurance. Even if we tell them we love them, on a regular basis, they also need to see it in action.

4. Never leave your partner behind where decisions are concerned.  You are one; therefore, you need to agree (especially where the children are concerned) before committing to any project that will keep you away from each other for long or regular periods. 

This is just a starter list I was led to include, at the time of publishing.  It will help as you during your self-assessment time and God will continue to open your eyes to the truth, that will set you free.  God bless you as you continue in service for Him, each other, your family and the wider community.

Your sister in Christ,

Janice S Ramkissoon.

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This article was inspired by Stephen & Nsambi Ricketts and Howard & Sandra McCalla.  As I prayed for these individuals, one morning in June 2010, God allowed me to see how their ministries, along with many others, have touched my life. That is when I thought of some of the sacrifices they would have had to make on their journey (having been exposed to this myself). 
The article started as a thank you note to them when the record of my journey, thus far, began playing in my mind.  I had a glimpse of the many people who have touched my life. 

In each chapter of my grieving and healing journey, I looked back and found Mr. Ricketts, the man I once called my baby brother.  That status changed over the years and you can read my birthday tribute to him, for a taster.  He then married a beautiful woman, an answered prayer; the rest is their story to tell. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this article.  If you have looked back to find a special couple or individuals who have been instrumental in your walk with Christ, why not send them a thank you note. 

God bless you on your journey.